Taking Revenge Against California (at least the cities where exes reside)

I'm forced to quit pretending like I can fall back asleep at around six-thirty in the morning
 my mind is hellbent and strictly intent on retaining memories from the night before,
so I snag a flat beer that my fuck-buddy (one of many) left behind
the corner store ain't open yet and I don't feel like walking to the nearest gas station

I have a torn meniscus and fucked up ACL so I have a handy supply of vicodin
I pop two without thinking and wash it down with an adult soda that doesn't have bubbles anymore
God, I didn't love her at first, but that taste and smell is growing on me. I'm digging her more than myself these days.
I think.

Crack out a half-smoked bowl and polish that motherfucker off. This isn't a day to start off straight. It's an anniversary of sorts.

Grab a single crutch (I don't remember where I last  placed its partner, but I can make do)
strike out to the store, I'm almost outta' smokes and I'm not coughing enough yet
plus, they have cheap tall cans at eight percent
a dollar sixty out the door
nine dollars and sixty cents if you're generally like me
plus the cost of cancer and liver failure
but that'll be a decade off at the very least

I'll pretend as I hobble down the street that I'm just an unappreciated Bukowski or Thompson or a rockstar that just missed his chance
but we all know the fucking truth
I was just too fucking weak on my own
and when people finally got tired of my shit
and the pushing away that I never gave up finally took hold
and the blank notes hit the floor
I snuggled up in a blanket of chemical quick-fixes
and mental short-cuts
and told myself I was medicating until I was sick
walking on a broken knee to snag a few bottles and smokes

Before I get home I've finished two and chewed on a few more pills
it's almost time for the fun part, where I ignore texts while smoking hashish and drinking and chainsmoking until the phone stops buzzing
I guess I could put it on silent or stop paying the fucking bill
but inertia is funny sometimes

Inertia is funny sometimes

And I can blame this all away on heartbreak if I want
Slowly killing myself to get back at the people who were too dumb to understand the greatness that I am
But I've never been a fan of bullshit
I guess I'll just keep on going
Afraid of stopping the swimming
even if I can pump water into my own gills mechanically
because
Fuck

Inertia is funny sometimes.