sleeping with the lights on

my body and my mind can't decide what I miss the most
can't sleep on a bed because there's too much room for you
can't sleep with the lights off 'cause i'm scared of ghosts
the leftover pieces of something once true dead in this room

I really tried not to drink wine but time was being a real motherfucker
all I ate was an eighth of hate in oder to try to find my lungs and smother
all of the pieces of you I had left

I'm havin' a blast with balloons filled with gasoline fumes and broken glass
suckin' on 'em like a young partygoer gobbles down helium
I'm havin' a ball twisting and breaking my ankles so I fall down the stairs
flipping the axis of the planet upside down, killing religion

it's too easy to see you
when I close my eyes
so I keep them open all night
it's too tough to feed myself with venom and bullshit as my only salary
so I down bubbly bronze and brown, liquid breads are my only calories

while you were trying to decide the best way to leave me behind
I was busy trying to keep my insides alive
but you've just dried them out today
my pressing concern is that you still haven't realistically learned
that this bridge is forever broken and burned
the remnants being left to rot and decay
I had no say in the matter

you know I might as well have sewn the tips of my lips closed
it would have gotten the same result in the end
I think by now I just might know what it is that I miss the most
goddamnit, I will always fucking miss my friend